Wats the point? anyone tell me wats the point???
watever i do or not do i also wrong.. fine i accept it as my bad point..
but wats the point of asking me to say out when in the end nothing changes and the working situation stills stay the same??
im tired alr... if i were to say out everything, im afraid i will no longer be frens with u all alr... my confidence level and self esteem is alr gone....
some things is not that i dont want to say, is just tat i dun wan to hurt pple feeling.. if i were to say out, surely u will lose ur reputation, ur reputation as a manager, as a RM...
i have been thinking for two nites alr..
if i have fault, dont u think u all have more fault than me??
u piss me and make me agitated so tat i can learn to be firm, pls.. is just bull shit.. u can piss me off, the more i will only be angry at u.. for wat i show or vent my angry on others becos u piss me? this wont work out.. 不要自做聪明 can? 那只会有返销果...
dont put and push me with "u are poly wat, better than me.." so wat if im a ploy achiever now? it doesnt show tat i can be very perfect wat..
no one is perfect..
i broke down a lot of time, i alr feel hurt.. not only u all hurt my fews dearest last time, u are hurting me slowly now.. i really start to feel being cheated...
本性难改, if you all are so good at that? why not change ur staff character first??
if they are so difficult in doing tat? wat makes u think i can ?? im trying my BEST!! are they???? did they even wanna change for the good or not??
i keep thing to myself, yes.. tats becos i know nth will change even if i say out..
my patience is alr running out.. people who knows me knows tat im not a person like tat, if i were to scold and shout of every little thing, 在多的容忍都不够...
i alr dun have a sense of belonging over there alr...
i just afraid if i really say out and on the spot i will go off and be a irresponsible person like tat..
but to get back just tat little dignity of mine, i guess i wont hesitate..
idk, i really dont know...
i just feel
hurt!
No feel, but i just wan to shout out..
no time to blog.. but im really stress out.. not comparing but i do still have my tiredness.
All the people left the outlet and i'm the one hanging there.. wif still a few more.
Is just one word, cock up .. staff cant work, then we kanna scold and it become our fault.
dun understand, i just simply dun understand..
the way u say me, ok fine, i accept it.. but isnt is that u are doing the same.. u get piss off don u when they din do things, is not the first time u work with me, u should know wat kind of person i am wat.. one reply : can or cannot do for me? cannot just say ah! i wont scold u know....
promise then the end u never do, i still have to do myself.. might as well from the start i self service!!
This is me ok.. from last time i am like tat..
i dun like to scold is because i know sure some pple cannot accept the scolding. should just save my breath rite!
sometimes is just very frustrating ah.. im hanging there not because there is anything precious there tat kept me.. is the money purpose u know..
i dun wan to switch job is because since i am able to maintain a certain income per month to survive through, all the hardship i can endure.. but doesnt mean that u all can do watever u all wan ah....
Is all shit u know! just all bull shit...........
behind the smiles every weekend over there, there is a scar u know..
it alr makes the injury turns out to leave a scar there...
Our feeling is hurt..
nobody or even no one tens to overlook at these..
smile doesnt mean i'm.. the more i smile, the more i may have something in hidding..
And when i dun start to talk and kept quiet! Like wat she use to said, tat is the time then u all should start worrying because tat is the time where i dun really care and heart is dead tat time
Just pass by my 22nd birthday :) feeling getting older and older.. but eat to do ?? haix..
Thanks to those who have wish me in fb or through phone, really appreciate it :)
thanks to my working pals who eventually surprise me at sentosa with the ice-cream cake, didnt know tat they went to the extrem to actually pre-order a cake, and is a ice-cream cake, really was shock. But i had a great and fun day tat day :)
The people who eventually i didnt expect have actually spent tat one- two min to wish me, thanks still even thought i didnt expect it from u,
have a wonderful 22nd this years where my birthday was spent at outlet.. hahaha, and thanks to sir and mdm for the slice cake and the bake rice..
but still i hope good luck thing better start coming our way as since jan, things keep happening to my family side, no matter is guys side or girls side, first my grandfather, next is my grandaunty husband, now is my cousin grandfather... jan feb mar... is been continuing three month of funeral... kind of feeling dishearted...plus some if them is from my fren siide.. gosh, wat has 2012 starting being to like this... really dishearted alr...
lets pray...
u all will always lies inside us :) may god bless u all in the other world and rest in peace all my ah gong's :)
Is a long tiring monday but eventually i have enjoy myself :)
first breakfast and singing wif jordan and ah pat, next dinner wif my dearest yvonne hanif and sakilah <3 lastly supper wif my earles peeps :)
manage to have a short break ard 5 plus, but went home not even and hr and im out of hse again.. lol..
i love tat mon... i heaven been going so many event and outing at one go :) lucky my timing and even out perfectly :)if not i would be in a mess and headach .. lol
food is nice and bonding is there.. hope more to come next time :)
well, i guess i got a lot to say but i do not know where to start...
retribution, i guess so... but i give in to fate alr..
i ignore u last time, u wan do the same to me, i treat it as fate..
i really dun wan to spend my time wasting on all these..
is just useless.. and is just seems silly by doing tat.. haix..
i keep telling myself to let it go, but eventually i think i did not..
i just use all my sch and work to cover the other side of me..
i guess i'm just like a ordinary person who tends to keep things.. i know i being selfish because there are so many other ard me who loves me so, but ....
somethings are just so difficult to open up...
especially personal stuffs...
haix...
forget it, letting it go ( i hope i can)
anw, good news upon all, i was promoted.. it was a sudden news, although lianshen has announce to me ard early feb, but this is just to rush..
being a supervisor is not easy job, more work, more load.
i'm so used to being the way i work, asking me to supervise staffs and look after newbies, it's gonna take me a while to use to it.
i'm a soft- hearted person, how to control people lei? i'm use to the people control me life, so asking me to change now, really gonna takes me time.. and i always keep telling myself to be firm, be fierce, but i just cant ah... i dun think anyone seem me really angry personally before lo.. unless really i'm angry.. at work i where got really scold and fierce to people one, hahaha..
but, let this be a training ba...
jia yo :) u can de :)
It been another few weeks where i update my blog..
so many thing seems to happen, and i'm really tired too.. mentally tired as well...
sch, work etc.. it just seem quite difficult for me to handle but i'm trying :)
things go well and bad for everything.. sometimes good sometimes bad...
needed my sleep, but just seem that no matter how long i sleep, it just doesn't seems to be enough!
body getting weaker but still hanging there, dark rings getting worsen, doesn't seem to shows effects even i sleep early...
tml exam, just wish me good luck so that i dun have to retake module..
it just seems scary and i should be revising now but yet i'm blogging now...
shutting myself today from everyone, not gonna let anyone find me.... no msg, mo call, no watsapp.... the life of nth for today.. not even a call from outlet can make me work..
anw, some things keep running my mind, thinking that should you believe in rumors? the things is i don't think we should even.... i just sometimes find it ridiculous to believe in all these, especially like when someone talking behind your back saying she and he bla bla, i think she like tat guy, all this are just shit man... cases tat i seen at work is different as i know we all joking, and we saying infront and the person just blush and shy.. but we know tat we just joking... but thing tat happen to me was the other way... behind my back, 散布谣言.. so what i'm closed to him? being close to him doesn't mean anything.. and it not a crime.. i treat him as a good fren tat why........ if being close to a oppsite sex mean u like tat person, let me tell u, i think there will have a lot couple wif many relationship going on.... it also shows tat u all are not mature thinking...
i choose not to care abt this, although i din say .. but pls , i'm not blind... i can see wat u all doing behind my back... i choose not to care because this is not true, i can have the courage to stand for myself to face u, but i think u were running from me, u choose to believe them? i don't know and i cant stop u.. the way how u treated me after this incident shows u choose to believe them, u didn't talk much to me after tat because u choose to believe them and it shows tat u cannot face me where this is just rumors.....
i guess i'm ok wif me because i don't blame u, as tat shows tat u all don't really know me well yet... i can be nice and sweet to everyone, to girls or to boys... call u baby dear or even darling i'm alright.. because to me it just a form or addressing, but if u all wan to infer these wrongly.. GO AHEAD <3
over there i prepared to have frens that comes and go...
cheers! :)
Is been three year where ur present still lies at my television top, is the thing tat i always first see when i wake up..
I didnt say doesnt mean i forget......
